funny and best jokes and messages

Best and funny awesome jokes and messages

 

 

I'm going to stand outside. 

So if anyone asks, I am outstanding.

I'm going to change my Facebook name to Benefits.

 Now, when someone adds me on Facebook,

 it will say: you are now friends with Benefits.

A kid was crying standing outside his house. 

A passer by asked: "Why are you crying?" 

Kid: "My parents are fighting inside the house." 

Passer by: "Who is your father?"

 Kid: "That is what the fight is about."

Behind every successful student,

 there is a deactivated Facebook account.

I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody,

so when I see stupid crap people post, 

I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This.

Facebook is like a fridge, 

you keep checking it and nothing has changed.

 

 

 

Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home.

 One boy throws his bag out the window. 

Teacher: who just threw that?!

 Boy: Me! I’m going home now.

Wife: "What are you doing?" 

Husband : Nothing.

 Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour." 

Husband : "I was looking for the expiration date."

One day little boy was digging a hole in his back yard.

 The next-door neighbor spotted him and decided to investigate.

 "Hello kid, what are you up to?" he asked. 

"My goldfish died and I'm gonna bury him,"

 Johnny replied. "That's a really big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" asked the neighbor.

 "That's because he's inside your cat!"

I changed my password to "incorrect". 

So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".

Teacher: Why are you late? 

Ramu: Because of the sign. 

Teacher: What sign? 

Ramu: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

A: Why are you late?

 B: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. 

A: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?

 B: No, I was standing on it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When WORDS fail, eyes speak.
When eyes fail,”HEART” speaks.
When HEART fails, nothing speaks they put cotton in the nose

Height of addiction:
In a college form, when asked about the "permanent address", a student wrote www.facebook.com

Your 100% beautiful
Your 100% lovely
Your 100% sweet
Your 100% nice
& your 100%
stupid to believe these words!